Photo taken by J.B. Lundemo
This last lesson is forgiveness (if I can even call it that since I know there will be no end) actually was one of the first. I guess I should have started from the beginning huh? I would say I am doing it Tarantino style, but that is not the case either since I didn’t start with the most recent story.
I was living with my best friend at the time (for verification purposes this is a different best friend from the previous forgiveness lesson). We had many good times together, shared many laughs, watched Finding Nemo together when we couldn’t sleep, cried on one another shoulder’s, and did things best friends do.
He lost his job right after he moved in with me, and being the kind hearted person I am, I let him stay under the condition that he pay me back when he found a job and help me around the house. Well, time passed and neither one of these obligations was filled. I was working two jobs and hardly had time to breathe. When I came home one night he said he was moving out in a week into an apartment with his girlfriend. Not even a month’s notice…
The final straw wasn’t when he gave me the news, but what I saw when I came home from working both jobs a few nights later. It was late, like 1 a.m., as I walked into the house. The door to my spare room was shut, when it had always remained open. As I opened the door, I saw a bed, multiple boxes, and other random furniture. The room was full with his girlfriends stuff!! I was now a personal storage for a roommate who owed me rent! I was furious. I stormed into his room and immediately started yelling to get all of the things out before I threw them out.
I was upset. REALLY REALLY UPSET. I think it was the worst temper I have ever displayed in my life. I felt totally taken advantage of.
After he moved out, we didn’t talk; except for the time someone cut his break lines and he accused me of being the culprit.
After losing my house I went through a healing stage. It was honestly probably the best thing that could have ever happened to me in so many ways. I changed as a person.
I contacted my old roommate and told him I didn’t want anymore hate in my life. I wanted to clean the slate. We wound up talking quite a bit and although I fear we will never again have the bond that we once did, I am happy I faced that resentment.
It was honestly a rain cloud hanging over my head; people would constantly ask me if I still talked to him. Everytime he was brought up, all the emotions of hatred and anger started to boil within me. Now when people mention his name I just smile…and think back on those days full of laughter and nights of watching a little clown fish try to find his way home.