Photo taken by J.B Lundemo
I had just finished my evening Entrepreneurship class at UNR and headed up the stairs. At the top stood an old friend whom I haven’t spoken to in years. I had called her many times over the years, wishing her happy birthday, calling her to say that something small had reminded me of her, etc and not one phone call was ever returned or answered. Eventually I gave up trying, assuming that she no longer wanted to continue our friendship.
As I approached her from the back, I gave her a big hug. She swung around and looked suprised to see me, but not thrilled.
We started talking randomly about our lives and the like, then out of nowhere she said that the reason she had ignored me was because there was a rumor that I had tried to hook up with her ex. I was hurt that she had ignored me because of that rumor. Her ex was a friend of mine who even dated another friend of mine a long time ago. I am not a friend hopper and I would never double cross TWO of my friends. I was never interested in him and although I may have been friendly when I saw him out one night, I was not trying to go home with him.
So I stood there in shock at the top of the stairs, yet also in admiration. It takes a lot of courage to face someone and tell them why you were angry. It also takes forgiveness to have that conversation. She could have ignored me and kept walking; instead she chose to have a heart to heart with me and tell me what was going on in her head. In return, I forgave her for not speaking to me.
Another lesson in this story is the importance of communication. If she had confronted me right after she received the news, I would have been able to clearly recall the evening and fill her in on all the small details. Then we could have salvaged our friendship right then and there. I do not blame her for choosing the option she did, although I truly did miss her.
We went our separate ways that evening, and although we may not speak again, I admire her courage and I thank her for setting a small part inside of me free.
“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were” -Unknown